Carlina is from Virginia and has lived in Dayton for 8 years. She currently works as Senior Director of Recruitment at Northwestern Mutual. We invited her to share more about her professional journey influenced by her own mother, along with her personal goals as a mother herself.

“Thinking about my career journey, the first thing that sticks out to me is this underlying theme of becoming a professional woman. I always wanted to be a working mom. I definitely got that from my parents, who worked for the federal government. My mom woke up at 3 AM to get ready for work and made the two-hour commute from Northern Virginia into D.C. She took her heels in a little satchel, wore a stereotypical 80’s power suit, and exuded professionalism. That’s the image I have – this strong business woman putting in the work every single day. That’s the environment I grew up in – work first, family second.

“My mom worked for the Department of Defense at the Defense Intelligence Agency Center at the Pentagon. In fact, she was there during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, luckily, on the opposite side of the building. I was a sophomore in college. The phone lines were down, I didn’t know where she was, and I had no way to get ahold of her.  I hadn’t heard from her but in my heart I could feel that she was okay. My sister drove into Washington to try to find her. The traffic was awful, the subways were jammed, there was no way to get close enough to find survivors. Finally, at 8 o’clock at night I got the call that my mom was okay. It was an incredibly scary time. She asked for a transfer and left the Pentagon a few months later, but never stopped putting in the work.

“Ever since I became a mom, my perception of the “working mom” changed along with my anxiety, which skyrocketed. It had gotten to the point where I had severe panic attacks, a trip to the emergency room, and was on medication. I don’t know why I have this need to justify being a working mom. Maybe it’s a sense that I’m still not good enough. I feel a sense of obligation to show my son what a powerful business woman looks like today. I feel an obligation to show him, myself, and those around me that women can have it all and we can balance it all. No one is going to tell me “No, you can’t do that.”  I have to model the same behavior that my mom showed my sister and I, but now with an added sense of care and compassion for other working parents. I don’t think my mom was always shown the same flexibility during her time of navigating being a mother and a career professional simultaneously.  

“Over the last year, I’ve worked extremely hard to change my mindset, learn to “let go” of things I can’t control, and embrace imperfection. I’m learning to reframe those stories I tell myself including what a successful business woman looks like. I’m learning how to channel that anxiety into productivity and move forward on to the next big thing. My mom has always played a large role in influencing my decision to be a working mom, and now I feel a bigger sense of compassion and understanding for working parents and it’s our job to pass that on to the next generation.”

Thank you, Carlina, for sharing your story. We love hearing from our inspiring members. Stay tuned for more features in our “Meet Our Members” series!

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